Thankful Thursday – Hurt

This Thankful Thursday, I’m taking a look at Hurt. Hurt from the past, by others, to others and to ourselves.

Thinking about what I’m thankful for this week, led me to this topic. How I am thankful for the hurt. Thankful that it happened because I’ve overcome the pain.

I’ve also had to look at the hurt that I’ve caused others and especially that which I’ve inflicted on myself. Looking in the mirror is never easy or comfortable. It’s so much easier to point a finger at someone else, but looking at yourself, most of refuse to do. I remember as a little girl one of my teacher’s said, “When you point a finger at someone else, always remember there are three pointing back at you”. I’ve carried this with me all my life, and teach it to anyone willing to listen. It has taught me to look at my own actions and reactions first. It’s not the easiest things to do at times, but it gives me perspective. It allows me to take a step back and see how could be better, before passing the buck. At the end of the day, we are only ever in control of own lives and our own emotions.

You are important. You are the only one who can decide to truly forgive and move forward, or to harbour that hurt in your heart. The latter will weigh you down, and steal way more from you than letting go. Releasing the hurt, and loving yourself over that hurt, is what makes you stronger and sets you free.

From my own experience, I am thankful that I have been hurt. It’s not easy in the moment, and even for years after that, but embracing the pain and knowing that there are only two options to the quality of my life. I could either let it ruin and consume me, or learn from it and become stronger.

Our inner strength often comes from something that has put us through the mill. Something that breaks down everything that we are, only to build a more magnificent, stronger and more loving being than before.

Be thankful for your pain, and then let it go. Embrace it, and then kiss it goodbye. Allow what has happened to make you better, and not bitter.

Here are a few tips that get me through a difficult period.

• Praise & worship – sometimes prayer is harder to do than anything else, so I take to praise and worship. It gets me out of my head, and into the space that allows me to talk to God. Sometimes, I find Him in those moments of praising him and worshipping, which leads me to….
• Prayer – venting, crying, screaming, begging, talking, whispering, to my Heavenly Father. I know he knows my heart, and sometimes, I’ll be feeling 5 different emotions, and in that prayer comes his calmness. Often, he tells me to go bed. “Joy comes in the morning”. It does. He provides the peace to sleep, and the fresh perspective, to know what to do next. He guides me in ways that show his unfailing love and his certainty in a world of uncertainty. Sometimes, I’ll wake up to a text from a friend, or hear a broadcast on the radio that lifts my spirit. Confirming that there is no pain too deep, that cannot be healed by my Father.
• Smile –   I know sometimes this can be the hardest thing to do, but a smile is  one of the most basic, biologically uniform expressions of all humans. Smiling is evolutionarily contagious and we have a subconscious innate drive to smile when we see one. So, I smile at myself. It makes my sad face look completely different and so I fake it until I feel it. I consciously smile and look for things that make me smile (or laugh), to get me through those dark days.
• Surround yourself with people who love –  This may not be your family or friends, it might be complete strangers. Follow the good vibes. Charities, new groups, like hiking, running, art classes, dance classes. Get involved with people who have a passion about something. Their energy will rub off on you.

Lastly, don’t forget that despite everything life throws at you, you are worth it. Your pain doesn’t define who you are. Use it to grow. Use it to share your story and to help others grow and be better.

Use your pain and your hurt as a tool, to make life better.

“The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it.”